I'm going to first say, Don't read this if you don't care, this is for two purposes, to fill the few of you who care in on how my year went, and so I have it documented incase I ever lose the file. Ps: I don't mention it, but I got a laptop for christmas!

2007 A year of mutt feelings in my mind.
I began at the first of the year still playing Gaia and ocassionally Warcraft Two... Eventually me and Mel had a major falling out and stopped talking completely. This happened after the first time my cousin attempted suicide over her ex-Boyfriend Jake... She got really depressed because she couldn't be with him and tried to off herself. I was very close to my cousin Mel at the time and couldn't really bear that though. Shortly after Mel (friend) stopped talking to me I finally gave in to several people who were encouraging me to play World of Warcraft. I began to play with Jaime and my ex-AJ... I had a blast, I got all the way up to level fourty playing Alliance on a PVP server, I had a 40 Human Paladin... Then I started pvping and basically said, screw the Alliance side. I made a Horde Character and never looked back. All I did all summer was play wow. I slept from 7AM to 4PM and kept on like that. In June I met someone while I was leveling on WoW... his character was Thian, his name Pat. This guy became my best friend, like a counselor. I was almost always depressed during this time of the year and he kept my head above the surface so to speak. Then I met a guy on WoW named Kevin. Kevin was a dick, he cheated on me and lied to me, and eventually broke my heard in August. By this time Pat had already spoken his undying love for me and was there for me 24/7. Pat had a girlfriend though, Krystal. He loved her but she was a bitch to him, and to me. She was one of my best friends at the time and when me and Kevin were in a pause in our relationship she did W2W with Kevin. I never had respect for either of them after that. I spent the next Months until december trying not to go off the edge and wondering why I continued to exist. Pat loved me but I could never love him, he would have given anything for me to love him and it was one of the only options in life that would make him happy. I agreed to let him come visit over christmas break with the intent to end his hopes and dreams of being with me when he left. Instead, I found my soul mate. He stayed from the 21st to the 1st, I miss him like crazy! It's all okay though because in five months' time we(me and my sister) will be driving up there to go pick him up and bring him back and he is moving in with me. I cannot wait until that day. (as a side note he was officially my boyfriend on Christmas Eve--what a great Anniversary!)
Other than Pat, I met the other important person in my life, Kristy, she asked me to go bowling with her. Kristy has moved 10 times in her life. She's very blonde and bubbly, but does cheer me up through her idiocy. I spend a lot of my time hanging out with her so I don't go insanely lonely.
Prior to meeting pat from August to December I felt like I was going insane, I was stressed out beyond belief with everything in the house, how my dad was so lazy (whenever he wasn't working (he worked alot of overtime to makeup for his fuckups)) and I was depressed and lonely as hell, I was mad of the situation I was in, but I was also happy at the minor things in life like my straight A's once again. Thus I call this my Mutt feeling.
I think I'm going to write one of these in June because it's hard to remember a whole year worth of shit.
As far as last years crap, I rarely talk to Jaime any more. I mainly talk to Pat and Kristy, and my sister. Me and my sister are suprisingly close and she is thrilled with my choice of a boyfriend.
Healthwise- My grandma had a heart attack and that was a very scary thing, but she's still alive, thankfully because I love grandma Metts so. My uncle mike went through a TERRIBLE time with infection in his stomach, he flat lined twice and has lost 50 pounds after his 2-3 month stay in the hospital (more than half in intensive care) and as far as me, I'm eating alot, especially since he's left. I really need to stop eating so much, I'm scared to death i'm going to get Diabetes or I already have it
I almost forgot that I adopted Sissy! (Now sammy) I love her to death and she sleeps with me most nights, she’s not so shy anymore and isn’t scared of anyway. Currently we have four cats (Lucky, Shadow, Sammy, and Tiny) althought Lucky might go within the next year because he’s getting old… and then we have Rascal who is six and bear who is seven now.. as far as dogs..
As far as drinking goes--I've drank since then. A few times with kristy (once she got totally wasted, god that was hillarious) I'm drinking right now actually, I got really hot and almost couldn't type so now i have my window open and both fans on. Feels great, lol. Nevertheless, I'm still a good kid with straight A's and such.
I did change alot in attitude and who I am over the year, I really don't know how to describe it. Now I want to work on computers for a living. and see my future with pat working on computers, I know I would be extremely happy and think I am one of the luckiest SOBs alive because I did find my other half, I long to be in his arms. I want to have three children with him, two girls! Bella Marie and Kalliandra Rose.. and I think we're getting my name when we marry... Lol!
I really am just going to look foreward to May when I am in his arms again. I don't really think I'll change much either, although it wouldn't kill me to get some more friends.
I hope no one dies during the next year and really can't believe I'm 17 and complete again...
2007 beats any year though because i met him!

I know, crazy huh? I have so much gay drama in my life, and this made it seem even crazier!!! I hope everyone had a happy holidays and even though I don't have time to devote to this site, I love you guys and miss you so much, feel free to comment or note me if you ever want to chat!
BIG HUGS TO YOU ALL!

Love,
Asuka (the wolf), Shaani (my Alias), Kalliandra (my pen-name), Sarah (my name of course!)

Life's so crazy. I think the very day that I wrote my last journal Kristy (she is a junior who moved from Florida)asked me to go bowling on Friday. She's awesome and she rocks my socks off and I hang out with her all the time. BFF4eva you know? My cousin got married saturday. Kristy did my hair and make up and I looked awesome. I might post a pictcha if I can find a good one. Her mom highlighted my hair friday night. w00t it looks awesome. I got drunk, they served me alcohol too lol. And I danced my ass off. It was sooooooo much fun.
I got back with Kevin shortly after we broke up.. It lasted a week. He promised me things would change and they didn't. And he told me he loved me as much as World of Warcraft... That still freaking hurts. But we're both gonna be really busy this week so we agreed to wait for each other and talk as much as we can, I still wish we were together though.
And then Pat and Krystal broke up and it's kinda my fault because of a bunch of crap. I feel really bad.
Crap at my house is still horrible. No money, everyone is stressed.
I didn't get a job because I wasn't gonna have a ride. I applied at Skaterz (a skating rink) where Kristy works, she'd be able to take me. It's been over a week. No call back
My uncle had 12 inches of his colon removed and they ended up giving him some medicine he wasn't supposed to have and he got an infection, so they had to do another surgery on him. And he was supposed to get out of the hospital like this coming sunday. While we were all at the wedding reception he had a Code Blue his heart stopped and he stopped breathing. They brought him back to life. yea, they decided to inform us 24 hours later "yea i just want you to know your brother almost died last night. just so you know, it's nbd." fucking assholes. that makes me mad i mean, wait to let a person know right?
I go through a lot of moods, I get happy, depressed, mad.. I'm going to see the psychiatrist tonight. What a waste of time. lol. Life is truly what you make it. I'm trying to be more positive and all but it's really hard because I'm so stressed out, I'm really busy too trying to juggle my attention between Kristy, jay, Kevin, Patrick, and Krystal. And then me. lol It hurts really bad though not being with Kevin I really think he is the one for me and I really feel like half of me without him. I have to go soon, i'm going to start updating this occasionally and uploading my Graphic Design projects.
Bye
I love you all!

Hello people, I wonder if anyone will read this
I'm doing okay I guess, I don't pay much attention to DA anymore but I still love you all and hope you are doing well, I'll brief you on how I'm doing
I'm back to school already, I was real close with my best friend Rebecca, now one of my other friends is stealing her from me, I'm down to 0 real life friends now. It's really lonely being at school knowing that everyone is fake and just humors me for an occasional laugh but will never actually give a shit. It will be hard to trust another person around here after Rebecca practically abondoned me even though she knows I need her.
I'm single, again, I had a boyfriend for 33 days, I really thought he was the one for me, I guess he was fake too, he was scared of commitment so I broke it off with him Tuesday. I really miss him, but he lived in Maryland, so still not a real life one. The only difference in our relationship was that he didn't live close enough to me that I could touch him you know? The relationship was really close. I met him on WoW though...
And then my two best friends, I met on WoW as well.. (World of Warcraft (Sisters of Elune- Horde- Shaani) what I did all summer long to keep myself from boredom since circumstances permitted me from getting a job) Patrick and Krystal, they are everything that is supporting me and tying me down to this world.
My life seems more depressing when i write it down... Hmm... I'll survive I guess.
My cousin Mel whom I'm really close with attempted suicide two times this summer but thankfully she is alive and is in the high school now where I can watch her. I'm a big bad Junior.
I'm going to hopefully work fright fest at six flags even though I said I'd never go back.
Well I'm at school right now and I got to go, if you have any questions, note me or e-mail me at kalliandrarose@hotmail.com (or add me on MSN)
I LOVE YOU ALL.
I miss you too. Sorry for being gone so long.

Ugh. Synopsis of the week of hell.
Saturday: I got 8 pairs of bottoms (yay!!!!!!!) and then went to visit my grandma. They removed ALOT of fluid from her lungs, but she was doing really well! (Although later in the week I found out she has fluid in her lungs again, they aren't doing anything about it now but she is going to the heart docter next tuesday)
Sunday: I just relaxed and did absolutely freaking nothing. I think I finished Velocity by Dean Koontz (amazing book) and watched Dark Water. Nothing significant, yet
Monday: Same thing as Sunday, more movies, maybe I read a book...
Tuesday: I get to school. The bell rings, my art teacher tells the whole class that incase we had not heard, Justin Stutterer died Sunday in Texas of a Motocross accident . . . I was like ... oh my gosh. I knew justin, he used to come into my chemistry class and he would make the whole class laugh, and he would always bother my fourth hour class since his girl friend (whom i've known since 6th grade) was in there.... It just. Scared the hell out of me. I think I've cried move for him than I did for my cousin, course I was pretty out of it since he died the day before my knee surgery... But.. It's just so sad.. He was only 17. He was such a nice kid, he always made everyone smile. School was depressing as hell. 3rd hour was like sitting in a freezer it was so silent...
Wednesday: read Blood and Chocolate. It's a really good werewolf book I would totally reccomend it... Yea I pretty much did that to get away fromt he whole justin thing...
Thursday: Day of Justin's Visitation... School was still depressing. I had a Missouri Constitution test that day. This is the day that I hung out with Rebecca and fixed my penguin
Friday: Day of Justin's funeral. 150 students were absent from school. Yea, he didn't have that many close friends. Almost the whole junior class went. I heard a lot of freshman called into school saying they were going to the funeral but they went to a bowling alley or something. I think that is so ignorant and disrespectful... I don't know there were a lot of fruit people that went to his funeral but didn't know him well. And then people were signing his picture saying that even though they didn't know him they missed him. There was only 11 people in my 3rd hour. It was a really damn depressing day... I got 119% on my biology test though, and 95% on my missouri constititution test though.. so whatever... spent the night brooding and reading The Street Lawyer by John Grisham
Saturday: I went to Arby's and went to see Disturbia with my friend Rebecca. Read some more of my book, thought alot, took some pictures...

Life is hectic. At least it's spring break (wed-mon we have off). I've taken a small break. Wednesday through Friday most of what I did was watch movies, and my cousin came over.
Friday my mom told us that my grandma was going back up to the hospital because one of her lungs was 2/3 of the way full of fluid and it needed to be removed. (this was why her oxygen levels had been low all week) So she went up to the hospital, and I am pretty certain that the fluid was drained last night, but they decided to keep her overnight since she had just had open heart surgery and all. Hopefully they will be releasing her tonight (we're going up to visit her now). Plus, my uncle discovered that he had ANOTHER blood clot in his leg, and his girlfriend's uncle had a stroke. Plus, my grandparents have been argueing all week. And to put the cherry ontop, Sunday is easter.
Life is hell. This has been the worst year so far. Lost a cat, grandma's had a heart attack, uncles had a blood clot, orphans living here, my sisters gf. The list goes on. I most definitely think this has beeen the worst year so far and we're only starting the fourth month. The only good thing is that it is going fast. And that this year I see who really gives a damn about me and who does not.
No art so far. Maybe Monday?? I'm just still so damn depressed.
And you don't have to wish me a Happy Easter since I don't believe in god. Yey for eggs and family though. Although I don't know if i'll be seeing any of either with my grandma's situation.
sighs*. Off to the hospital...